1. Waiting for April 12th/13th
2. Waiting to send my Arwen Rose Dress (will I get my butt out of the house? @__@ )
3. Waiting to be able to withdraw every single cent in my POSBank Account. Why in the world they need my Birth Cert, my dad's signature & photocopy of his IC and my mom's death cert (okay, maybe this seems reasonable but the other ain't cause people my age are already married! Heck! My late mom got married at my age and my sis at an age a year later!) just so that I can withdraw my money? >__< I'm already at headlog with him ever since last June and irritate with his every actions. I'm already so old!
I HATE TRUST ACCOUNT!
No wonder my Birthday this year is so quiet. Even when I turned 18 and 21, I got nothing special from my family and relatives. >__< Maybe I am a Hobbit and my coming of age is 30 instead of 21! >__< My relatives don't even know what is my age! @__@
Just think of it; because of the %$**$#*##% Finance Office who make me pay the full fees first instead of the half, I can't fix so many things in my life. Celebro need repairs and I'm sure this time I have to pay as it's the socket that is damaged, and maybe even the battery pack (and I had it replaced last year!). My modem/USB Adapter is broken and that gonna cost me around SGD100. My EzLink card need to be top up and that comes out of my own pocket. I have exhaust every single savings I keep at home just to raise another SGD500 and I still haven't raise that amount (still need SGD200). Go out to work? I can't even get out of the house without my grandma telling me to stay at home cause she's scared anything happen to her, no one is around. @__@ And my family and relatives are so particular to what job I can take (other than them being very nosy)! I thot the pass 6 months had been a long holiday for me, to recover and gain my strength but it's filled with so many shocks and depressions and loss of authority. And I can't purified myself anymore from those darn "thinking"!
I'm becoming more bitter now; thinking may seems more matured and understanding but becoming more bitter and heartless. Hatrate is building up in us. Envy gaining more front. And I'm becoming more and more of a loner, shun for the times I spend online talking to others. I wonder in which direction I'm going.
I'm also becoming so unlike my altergo. Gone are the courage. Gone are the wisdom. I keep trying to run away. I keep losing my artistic hand. Everyday is another day when I have to put aside getting my neccesaties items cause I don't have the money to spare. Another day is when I have to put aside doing something important cause I don't have the courage to go on. Seek help from others? All my best friends are distant from me, busy in their works or too change for me to confident my darkest secrets with them. I feel a great emptiness in me. I feel alone.
Can't even express my feelings into peoms or fan-fic anymore. Things just keep falling apart in my life, one after the others. I loose this, I lost that. This broke down, that get spoiled. One bombshell after another, I feel so alone. Everyone see me as the cheerful and helpful person but deep down, I'm just a sick pycho, like a domant volcano ready to explode at the slightest pressure. My darkest secrets keep getting darker, my problems keep getting worse. And to seek help from the appropiate party seems out of the question cause I GOT NO MONEY TO SPARE! There is a great sadness in me, a great loneliness. Too many betrayal in my life, too many people gone out of my life. I want to fix my life again but I have no more strength or courage to do it. I'm loosing my marbles. I'm loosing myself!
I'm just a sad, lonely person . . . .
You Don't Look Ahead; When The Sun Had Failed and The Moon Is Dead . . .
My Kids are the only ones who ever said they LOVE me. They are the only ones who gave me encouragements. Clefairy is there to be at my side while I type while Padme and Maul there to give advices. And the rest are there to hug me when I'm lonely. Heck! It's all along MYSELF who gave me all this! The pain is great and as usual, I have to suffer along. And I don't know if it's a great pity or a great loss that I appreciate life. Or it's just FEAR . . .
I don't have an answer . . . .
2. Waiting to send my Arwen Rose Dress (will I get my butt out of the house? @__@ )
3. Waiting to be able to withdraw every single cent in my POSBank Account. Why in the world they need my Birth Cert, my dad's signature & photocopy of his IC and my mom's death cert (okay, maybe this seems reasonable but the other ain't cause people my age are already married! Heck! My late mom got married at my age and my sis at an age a year later!) just so that I can withdraw my money? >__< I'm already at headlog with him ever since last June and irritate with his every actions. I'm already so old!
I HATE TRUST ACCOUNT!
No wonder my Birthday this year is so quiet. Even when I turned 18 and 21, I got nothing special from my family and relatives. >__< Maybe I am a Hobbit and my coming of age is 30 instead of 21! >__< My relatives don't even know what is my age! @__@
Just think of it; because of the %$**$#*##% Finance Office who make me pay the full fees first instead of the half, I can't fix so many things in my life. Celebro need repairs and I'm sure this time I have to pay as it's the socket that is damaged, and maybe even the battery pack (and I had it replaced last year!). My modem/USB Adapter is broken and that gonna cost me around SGD100. My EzLink card need to be top up and that comes out of my own pocket. I have exhaust every single savings I keep at home just to raise another SGD500 and I still haven't raise that amount (still need SGD200). Go out to work? I can't even get out of the house without my grandma telling me to stay at home cause she's scared anything happen to her, no one is around. @__@ And my family and relatives are so particular to what job I can take (other than them being very nosy)! I thot the pass 6 months had been a long holiday for me, to recover and gain my strength but it's filled with so many shocks and depressions and loss of authority. And I can't purified myself anymore from those darn "thinking"!
I'm becoming more bitter now; thinking may seems more matured and understanding but becoming more bitter and heartless. Hatrate is building up in us. Envy gaining more front. And I'm becoming more and more of a loner, shun for the times I spend online talking to others. I wonder in which direction I'm going.
I'm also becoming so unlike my altergo. Gone are the courage. Gone are the wisdom. I keep trying to run away. I keep losing my artistic hand. Everyday is another day when I have to put aside getting my neccesaties items cause I don't have the money to spare. Another day is when I have to put aside doing something important cause I don't have the courage to go on. Seek help from others? All my best friends are distant from me, busy in their works or too change for me to confident my darkest secrets with them. I feel a great emptiness in me. I feel alone.
Can't even express my feelings into peoms or fan-fic anymore. Things just keep falling apart in my life, one after the others. I loose this, I lost that. This broke down, that get spoiled. One bombshell after another, I feel so alone. Everyone see me as the cheerful and helpful person but deep down, I'm just a sick pycho, like a domant volcano ready to explode at the slightest pressure. My darkest secrets keep getting darker, my problems keep getting worse. And to seek help from the appropiate party seems out of the question cause I GOT NO MONEY TO SPARE! There is a great sadness in me, a great loneliness. Too many betrayal in my life, too many people gone out of my life. I want to fix my life again but I have no more strength or courage to do it. I'm loosing my marbles. I'm loosing myself!
I'm just a sad, lonely person . . . .
You Don't Look Ahead; When The Sun Had Failed and The Moon Is Dead . . .
My Kids are the only ones who ever said they LOVE me. They are the only ones who gave me encouragements. Clefairy is there to be at my side while I type while Padme and Maul there to give advices. And the rest are there to hug me when I'm lonely. Heck! It's all along MYSELF who gave me all this! The pain is great and as usual, I have to suffer along. And I don't know if it's a great pity or a great loss that I appreciate life. Or it's just FEAR . . .
I don't have an answer . . . .
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